Just because I’m not afraid to speak in public and have the ability to be direct, that doesn’t mean it’s my job to announce my opinions, judgments and POV. I wrote that last time. But since then, I’ve really been thinking deeper about the role I play in other people’s lives – and they haven’t invited me to, want me to, or even appreciate me for doing it!
A picture emerges with me as the play-by-play announcer, offering color commentary about their behavior, decisions, and moods. Sure, I point out the good stuff, but why don’t I stop there. Why do I feel I have to not just notice but to call out the missteps, stupid decisions, and when they drop the ball. I’ll even play scorekeeper, eventually deciding whether they are a ‘winner’ or a ‘loser.’
And you know what? When I’m so focused on her life or his life, I’m not living MY life! The spotlight is on the other person and an easy distraction from what’s happening in my own. Like the time yesterday when I criticized Bill for the 100th time for the way he’s feeding the cats. And, when I fired off a snotty email to a friend who aggravated me rather than giving her a call and talking it through. Or when I refused to show up early to help my teammates set up for our weekend retreat (after all, haven’t I done enough already?).
Some tough questions came to mind this week as I recalled something God said about logs in my eye and specks in my husband’s and everyone else. (See the book of Matthew, chapter 7, verse 3.) I’m still trying to answer:
* What makes me such an expert in his life?
* What am I afraid of?
* How am I just like her?
By the way, these weren’t just random questions. It’s the way God speaks to me, directly, through the Holy Spirit and it’s known as ‘conviction.’
I’m also beginning to wonder how my life could be lighter, less stressful, if I didn’t spend the time and energy focusing on other people. I’m going to try it, just this week, seven days, to really notice when I reach for the microphone to call the play on someone else. Simply paying attention to what I pay attention to. I’ll let you know what I find out.